I’m pretty sure my fitbit is broken because since I got it for Christmas, I’ve gained 10 pounds. That’s not how it’s supposed to work, right? I mean, I got it and it was going to motivate me and be just the thing I needed to start running (ok, slow jogging) again and get my flab a little more firm. Hmmmm…for some reason it’s not working. It must be broken.
I mean, I started off great. I was running in place in my living room. One day I did 13 miles that way! I was killin’ it! I would do challenges with people and I was determined not to let someone beat me. I would check my phone at night and literally get back up out of bed and run in place to get back ahead of whoever had moved ahead of me. And then…I started not really caring if someone beat me. I would tell myself “I’m not going to put so much pressure on myself that I’m obsessing about staying ahead of people.” I would opt to sit on the couch and watch that episode of Once Upon A Time, instead of walking or jogging in place while I watched it. In fact, I’d sit and eat something while I watched it. Seemed harmless enough. I just kept telling myself that once the weather got better I would get out and start “running” again and it would be all good.
Well, the snow melted, but then it was too muddy (we live on a dirt road). Then, when it got dry, I made other excuses. See, as I’ve mentioned before, I tend to be a spaz about things. One of those things is this stupid obsession with not feeling safe while I’m out “running”. I had a weird encounter with a truck last year that drove by me, turned around in a driveway down the road and turned back in my direction, drove a little ways, stopped and then started to drive slowly as I ran closer. I was totally freaked! I had my phone in my hand, so I pretended to answer it and started talking and then they hurried up and drove past me and away. Um, not cool for a girl who is already paranoid. Having my phone with me really did make me feel safer, but it wasn’t exactly ideal to “run” with it in my hand. I bought myself a running belt (Brian calls it a fanny pack) that I can carry it in that is mesh, so I can even play music on my phone and hear it (I do not wear earbuds when I run. I can’t stand to not be able to hear everything that’s going on around me.), so I thought that might be what I needed. Um…still didn’t get out there.
I have a ton of great workout DVDs, but my living room is small and in the winter I didn’t want to go in my basement and work out because of spiders, but now my spider guy has been here and sprayed and they are all dead, so technically I could go down there but I don’t like being down there when no one else is home because it makes me feel vulnerable and trapped.
Can you see the problem? I have an excuse for everything! I’m driving myself nuts!
I feel like I would do better if I had someone to walk/jog with, but the really real reality of it all is…I’m lazy. Yup, I’m just putting it right out there. I am lazy.
I hate cleaning, but I do it because I don’t want to have a disgusting house. Now there’s a difference between dirty and messy. I try to never have it be dirty, but it’s definitely messy more times than not. I have tons of cool stuff to do craft projects with, but that would require me going to the basement and getting the supplies (which are horribly unorganized – which is another part of the problem) and so they just sit down there, not being used. I have a sewing machine that I enjoy using and have a list of a few things I could really stand to hem, but that would require me going to the basement and getting it and setting it up at the kitchen table and well…that’s just too much work.
The thing is, my fitbit isn’t broken, but my motivation definitely is.
So friends, here it is. A public declaration of my lazy tendencies and a cry out for ideas for how to break this cycle. What motivates you to be active? What motivates you to keep a tidy/organized home? What ideas do you have that might make something click in this spazoid (yup, total 80s word, deal with it) head of mine? Help a girl out!